TASTES LIKE CHICKEN – Screenplay for sale

TASTES LIKE CHICKEN – Screenplay for sale

A jealous scientist brews a poison to hospitalize his ex-lover and her new fiancée, only to mess up, spill the concoction and infect a huge gathering of people, turning them into zombies!

Linda is excited. Her fiancée, Tex, who she met online, is coming to town and she can’t wait to introduce him to all her friends. Unfortunately, she’s stuck with her younger, and stupider, brother, Carl, who has been sent to watch them go ensure they stay “pure”, on the demand of their strict and religious mother, Lizzy. On the way home from the airport, they stop for gas and find themselves in the middle of a convenience store heist! Tex takes down the thieves with ease, demonstrating both his love of beer and skill with firearms, as any true Texan would. He dips Linda into a passionate kiss. Little do they know, across the street watching them is Linda’s ex-boyfriend, Luke.

Seething with jealousy, Luke comes up with a plan to get Linda back once and for all. He concocts a poison that he will slip into Linda and Tex’s food at an upcoming campus BBQ. Once they are poisoned and hospitalized, Luke will rush to the hospital and save Linda, leaving Tex to die. It’s the perfect plan… until he messes it up. The day of the BBQ, Luke trips, dumping the entire vial of poison into the BBQ sauce! Before he can do anything, Lizzy, Linda’s mother and the dean of the university, marches in, grabs the sauce and leaves without noticing him. Luke, ever the coward, runs away and hides rather than choosing to deal with the issue at hand.

The BBQ is in full swing. Students are mowing down on food, save for Linda and her friends. Her mother is a terrible cook and she’s not about to subject herself, her friends or her fiancée to that. They throw out their food and have a BBQ of their own. When they return to campus later they are shocked to see the nearly entire school groaning on the ground. They quickly learn that anyone who ate Lizzy’s cooking is terribly sick. Except, they aren’t sick at all.

Before they know it, the “infected” begin to turn into zombies at an alarming rate!

Linda and her friends run away before they can get infected as well. They reconvene at Linda’s apartment, stocking up with the immense
amount of gun power and ammunition Tex managed to bring on the plane from TExas. When asked how, Tex simply smiles and tells them, “Because, I’m from… Texas.” They come up with a plan to storm the campus and retrieve Carl (who’s in the library) and Linda’s friend Sheila’s brother (who’s in a frat house) and their other roommate, Didi (who’s God knows where). They put the plan in motion!

It’s a fight to the death as they storm through the hoard of zombies with ridiculous weapons and amazing catchphrases. During this mission, they run into Luke, who joins their gang. He is feeling incredibly guilty about this ordeal, convinced that it’s all his fault (which it is). Whenever he tries to confess the truth to Linda, she brushes him off.

Finally, part one of their plan is complete and they need a new plan to save everyone else in the town. Linda and Tex come up with the perfect idea. She gets to work on a bomb while Tex and Sheila’s British and unwillingly gangster boyfriend, Afternoon T, highjack a fire truck. Luke tries to tell Linda, again, that it’s his fault, but, again, she brushes him off. Luke, desperate for someone to listen tells Carl. To his surprise Carl tells him he already knows this.

Luke is relived that someone is finally listening to him… and then he finds out Carl believes this is all a big dream. It’s back to square one. Tex brings the fire truck up to the lab and everyone piles in. They blare the horn and the zombies follow them out of town. Unable to hold in the truth any longer, Luke tells Linda that he was the one that created the zombies through the poison he made for her. Everyone is shocked! Tex stops the truck and proceeds to beat Luke up. Meanwhile, the zombies advance on the truck, leaving Sheila, Afternoon T and Linda to ward them off. Somehow, Linda manages to grab Tex’s attention, forcing him to drive. Zombies fly off the truck as they barrel out of town.

They arrive at Linda’s uncles abandoned farm and set up the bomb, only to discover that the timer isn’t working! Someone will have to stay behind. Everyone turns to Luke, this whole thing was his fault after all. But Tex, ever the gentleman, refuses to allow this. He volunteers himself, much to Linda’s dislike. They have a final, romantic farewell set to orchestral violins.

Linda drives off with everyone else and Tex sets off the bomb, with his gun no less. A huge mushroom cloud billows into the sky. The zombies are destroyed. Linda is heart broken… until they see Tex, flying through the air toward them. He lands on Luke with a terrible crunch. Linda runs to Tex and they have a romantic reunion. They saved the day!

Well, almost. Unknown to them, three zombies wander through a forest at the other end of town, bummed out that they missed the “zombie parade.”

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